Shut In

Dear God I'm going crazy.  3.5 weeks of being cooped in a house due to 2 illnesses will do that.  And the last portion of these weeks have been spent cleaning up vomit.  Needless to say it's done a number on my nerves.  My house is a wreck.  My brain's a wreck.  Oh, and I've barely worked these few weeks.  Merry Christmas.

Thank God my mom's coming in town and we've agreed if I do her holiday shopping she will help clean my house - YEAH!  My house has gotten to the point of no return; I can't see past it's current state.

I need to go to a yoga class.  I just need time away from my son.  God it sounds horrible when I type that out, but really it's gotten to be too much for me these past few weeks.  I had him in the stroller the other day and felt so liberated to be able to look around and think for myself for once without worrying about him puking or crying or whatever.

Ya, it's a low point for me for sure.  And it's the holidays.  I want this to be a beautiful time for both of us.  Starting new traditions, etc.  But this big black sick cloud has shut all of that out.

Back to the future mamas.  I have a new Macbook.  It took me a little while to save up and of course got alot of help from the family.  My ex almost sabatoged the whole thing with money drama this month...but I got it!  

I also am proud to say that I got on food stamps this month.  Proud you may ask?  Yes, it was alot of work and I need some sort of relief.  Z and I were sick alot this month and I haven't worked in 3 weeks!  That plus his dad is becoming extremely unreliable when it comes to the money he's supposed to send me.  This month I got emergency food stamps.  They're still reviewing my case for it to continue and to grant me medicaid.  I haven't been to the doctor since after Z was born so this is huge for me.  Cross your fingers.

Back to the ex.  He calls me up to tell me that he's cutting my money in half unless I circumcise my son!  We've already agreed to disagree on this subject and not bring it up anymore so as not to give Z a penis complex as he gets older.  Everytime M goes back to the Middle East circumcision is back on the chopping block -sorry bad pun.  He can't even give me a good sound moral or ethical reason other than millions of other Muslims do it.  The "it's cleaner" argument does not fly with me as I have tons of medical evidence proving otherwise.

Yes, he cares so much about this heinous medical procedure, but does not call Z EVER anymore even when he knows how sick Z has been.

In other news we cut down our Christmas tree with RamaMama and her 2 kiddos.  Well, the nice farm boy cut the tree down for us.  It was so much fun and a great tradition to start for me and Z.  Pretty hilarious site us 2 single mamas on the tree farm (me in my high heel boots and Z in his red Chinese outfit).  Will post a pic soon.  Happy Holidays everyone!