Friday, October 17, 2008

angry love

i've been stuck in my little world for a while. working thru some issues with my lou. aggression. i must say that his karate classes have been great for him, and it's really exciting to see him so dedicated. i think i've been working thru some of my own issues as well. as for his dad, he had to go out of town, for six weeks, with out any warning,  because he forgot to tell us. needless to say lou did not handle it well. he was hurt, and angry. but he doesn't want to be angry at his dad because he gives him everything he wants. hmmmm. so i get the backlash. which in it's own was is a compliment. he's secure enough with me to just let it all hang out. 
so we had 6 weeks of angry love. ha. such passion.
also, at parent teacher meetings i found out that louie may have dyslexia. which makes alot of sense. he's brilliant but has such a hard time writing his words, and dumb himself down just to get thru the writing. writing on just one line is the end of the world to him. and when i tell him to correct a backwards letter, lawwd help us. he's been so frustrated. so, now i'm not focusing on the spelling, straightness, or "frontwardness". i want him to find his freedom in expressing his thoughts in writing. he has such great profound thoughts! we are going to start testing, apparently it's a long process, but i dont want him to suffer when we could start helping him. he's so frustrated, i'm afraid he'll just shut down, and with a boy like lou, that's just not an option. he's everything to me. 

one time he told me " mom, life is like driving a remote controlled car..... it doesn't always go where you think it will, and sometimes you crash, but you just pick it up, and put it back on the ground and try again. "

......and i love his angry love, i hope he holds his dedication to his passionate feelings his whole life. 

2 comments:

JLar said...

man I feel you on this one... Little Bird is always grumpy as all get out after a weekend at dads... I picked her up from him yesterday and she was just rotten all afternoon and evening.. bluck... and of course its always my fault. these days I tell her "talk to your dad about it, if you want to stay longer ask him"

ShaktiMama said...

I like Jaimie's positiveness in saying that it's because he feels comfortable with you to let it all hang out! I'm going to have to remember that one when Z gets older! I'm so happy the karate's working well for him. Do keep us posted on the testing.