days went by...

I have much melancholy this morning. My daughter is getting too big, too fast... This year has been the big one for change. In kindergarten and first grade she still had those chubby cheeks, and was still tiny enough for me to scoop up and carry from the car as she slept on my shoulder... These days? Her face is thinning, she is looking so tall, and she is getting too heavy to carry. I am mourning the loss of my "baby" this morning. The conversations we have, the things she loves, the things that draw her in and fascinate her have changed so dramatically and so quickly... Everyone tells you when your child is a baby, a toddler, they all say "cherish it, it goes so fast" and you know they are right, you nod vigorously in agreement and you cherish each moment as much as you possibly can, but it still hits you in the gut when you realize the cuddle bug is gone... and this age too will pass, faster than I want it to... sigh... I have memories of her baby smell... and soft skin and hair... I remember holding her tiny body tucked in one arm... I remember the taste of her skin under my kisses before it had the flavor of playground grime and big kid dirt... I remember her tiny hand swallowed in my palm... I remember the concentration in making simple movements... I miss it... and I know that I will also miss this age. I will miss my seven year old. These days I hug her so often and so tightly, as if my squeeze will stop time, for at least a moment... sigh.